A Royal Allegiance

My inner voice...

2011-09-19T21:58:00.004-05:00

I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever. I won't be pregnant forever.

My motto to get me through the aches. Already. 7 more weeks to go. OH baby!

Waiting for August...

2011-09-18T22:09:00.004-05:00

We are now just one day away from being 33 weeks pregnant and I can't tell you what a relief I feel that we have made it this far without complications! God has comforted and answered so many of our prayers and we are filled with gratitude.

Here's a belly pic at almost 33 weeks.

I don't think we will be changing his name, so we are confident putting it out there for you all: August Matthew David Larsen (Matthew David is Matt's first and middle name). Can't wait to put a face to his beautiful name.

Hope you all are doing well! xoxo

Rockstar

2011-07-14T10:25:00.002-05:00

On Friendship

2011-07-06T21:32:00.010-05:00

Seize the day, Lauren!

I hear my inner voice shouting to me often during the day if I find myself living in fear or the what-ifs of this ever changing, unsafe world. It beckons me to stop and give time, love and service to those around me. In a sense, to me "seizing the day" has meant "be thankful, child."

We spent the Fourth of July with some of our best friends like we have done for the past few years and it is always sweet to just be with them. This year, we were missing one dear couple because they moved to London. Through their absence, I was reminded that our time here together is short. We are not promised our comfortable life together forever on earth. God may call us to different places (gasp!) and we may move on...

But, in my reflection of what friendship is, Matt brought up some interesting thoughts from C.S. Lewis:

Christ, who said to the disciples "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends "You have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another." The Friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others. They are no greater than the beauties of a thousand other men; by Friendship God opens our eyes to them. They are, like all beauties, derived from Him, and then, in a good Friendship, increased by Him through the Friendship itself, so that it is His instrument for creating as well as for revealing.

Friendship is a unique kind of love. I hope to experience it ever more so deeply as I grow older...

The common quest or vision which unites friends does not absorb them in such a way that they remain ignorant or oblivious of one another. On the contrary it is the very medium in which their mutual love and knowledge exist. One knows nobody so well as one's "fellow." ... If, at the outset, we had attended more to him less to the thing which our Friendship is "about," we should not have come to know or love him so well. You will not find the warrior, the poet, the philosopher or the Christian by staring in his eyes as if he were your mistress: better fight beside him, read with him, argue with him, pray with him.

Better fight beside him, read with him, argue with him, pray with him. To know the inner thoughts and ideals of another person is to begin to be friends. To relate to those thoughts and ideals is to be friends. I'm thankful for my precious friends whom we relate to and have the cornerstone of our friendship in our Triune God.

What is the sex of baby Larsen #2? And what's up with us...

2011-06-27T16:09:00.002-05:00

I think about this sweet blog every now and then and what it's purpose is in our busy lives. I haven't decided if I'm going to keep posting on it or just combine my personal blog with it. Who knows, but for now, I wanted to bring the few of you who might check this up to speed on what's going on with us!

- We found out 2 weeks ago that baby #2 is a BOY! We weren’t going to find out, but after a series of events, we felt like it was necessary to know the gender. And I’m SO glad we know! I was teary-eyed for about 30 minutes after we found out that it was a boy. I don't think I ever processed what it would mean to have a boy. I'm excited and up for the challenge of raising a little man. Matt is so excited about man-to-man conversations that will happen. He will be an amazing dad to a little man.

- We have been traveling A LOT. Our summer started with a trip to photograph a wedding in Belize. We came home and quickly left for a friend’s ranch in central Texas to celebrate our anniversary. After that I photographed a wedding in Stephenville, TX and in Oklahoma. Came home after that and left for Colorado so Matt could speak at a camp. We are home for the next few weeks until we are on the road again and I hope to get tons of work done and even start on this little BOY’s nursery!

- On Thursday, Matt takes the GRE so that he can begin the process of applying to PhD programs. We would appreciate all your prayers for his success on the test.

————-

Thanks for keeping up with us through this little blog. I hope you're doing well!

~L

Baby Larsen # 2!

2011-05-03T13:29:00.003-05:00

Matt and I are excited to share that we are expecting our 2nd child come November 8th. We are now 13 weeks pregnant and thankful for how the first trimester was easy, healthy and full of energy. Please begin praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby. Our doctors give us every hope that this will be a healthy and normal pregnancy and we trust that God will provide for our every need and take care of this precious baby. I feel great and have had my normal energy level and only 4 days of nausea. The start to this pregnancy has been a great gift filled with feeling great and lots of energy. A huge answer to our prayers. Couldn’t be more thankful for that! Life is super excited about this little baby, too!

God is good! Thanks in advance for your prayers…

On Becoming Anglican...

2011-02-17T22:12:00.004-06:00

I recently started a blog that documents my thoughts and learnings on our Canterbury trail. You can read, if you like, here: http://misseslarsen.tumblr.com/

Blessings to you.

Lifetime...

2011-01-24T21:36:00.000-06:00

Skyping will become London-ing...

2011-01-15T16:20:00.003-06:00

This view:

will change to this view:

and this view:

in MARCH 2011! Can't wait!

More Aware

2010-10-04T22:55:00.004-05:00

Every night when I hold Life a part of me remembers where she came from and I take a deep breath, hold her tighter and thank God for his mercy. Today, I did something really stupid and I have shed a fair amount of tears just thinking about what could have been. Our new house is on the corner of a busy street and I decided to leave Life in the backyard (with the gate open so that I could see her) while I moved Matt's scooter from behind my car. I didn't think it would take me so long to move his scooter and I trusted that Life wouldn't venture out into the driveway near the busy street. But as it was taking me a long time to move his scooter (it's heavy and I don't know how to use the kick-stand) my heart started racing thinking that Life was going to walk out of the backyard... I couldn't see her because my car was in the view of where she was. I panicked. She must have moved. Where is she? I can't see her. Oh Lord. I can't get the scooter to stand up! "Just put the freaking scooter down on the ground and go get Life, Lauren. GET HER." I propped the scooter up as fast as I could against my car and ran to the other side of the car to see where she was. She was there. Walking fast towards the busy street. I scooped her up into my arms and walked quickly to put her into my car. And all I felt was...

Ashamed. Why did I leave her unattended? I didn't think it would take me so long to move the scooter. I thought it would only take a second and that she would play in the backyard.

When I put her in my car, all my nervous energy kicked-in full force. What if I hadn't gone to get her? What if...

Thank you, Jesus. Thank you Jesus for not letting her get 4 steps closer to the road. Thank you for giving me the intuition to go and check on her.

I'm so thankful she's OK. And that she looked at me like I was crazy when I was hugging her and kissing her after I picked her up. She had no idea what I was thinking and I appreciate her innocence. I'm supposed to be the one who's aware. So, I'm thankful for that lesson. And I'm proud to say that I am aware. From now on. I'm going to be on my game. Living on the corner is not for the faint at heart.

{You make me}

2010-09-21T22:49:00.002-05:00

The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now it's where I've been

'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall...

Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me
That changes everything
So long, I'm gone

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
I wanna be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

'Brave' by Nicole Nordeman

{Preview} Our New House

2010-09-18T11:42:00.002-05:00

Matt and I rented a house in Lakewood for the next two years and are thrilled to be moving in the next few weeks. We are excited about having a place to have people over and for our little girl to play. I cannot even wait to move in (but I will, of course, miss my friends at the Vue terribly :))!

Momma thoughts

2010-09-14T22:39:00.007-05:00

Our baby is now two years and one month old. Each day seems to literally FLY by with no regard for my sentimentality or need to freeze time. (Perhaps that is what my camera is for.) Each night, I'm left with memories from hours before of little miss precious Life asking to dance with us... "more mommy! MOOOORE DANCE!" And I smile. Wish for more. Praise God. And rest... cause tomorrow's a dance party. (And I need to be ready.)

Life is teaching me that I need to be ready. It's a good lesson and reminder of the things that are to come.

Dancin' feet. Happy girl:

- "Hey Life! Do you have bows on your head?"
- "No!"

::: Psalm 91 :::

2010-08-31T23:43:00.003-05:00

Qui habitat

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, *
abides under the shadow of the Almighty.

He shall say to the LORD,
"You are my refuge and my stronghold, *
my God in whom I put my trust."

He shall deliver you from the snare of the hunter *
and from the deadly pestilence.

He shall cover you with his pinions,
and you shall find refuge under his wings; *
his faithfulness shall be a shield and buckler.

You shall not be afraid of any terror by night, *
nor of the arrow that flies by day;

Of the plague that stalks in the darkness, *
nor of the sickness that lays waste at mid-day.

A thousand shall fall at your side
and ten thousand at your right hand, *
but it shall not come near you.

Your eyes have only to behold *
to see the reward of the wicked.

Because you have made the LORD your refuge, *
and the Most High your habitation,

There shall no evil happen to you, *
neither shall any plague come near your dwelling.

For he shall give his angels charge over you, *
to keep you in all your ways.

They shall bear you in their hands, *
lest you dash your foot against a stone.

You shall tread upon the lion and the adder; *
you shall trample the young lion and the serpent under your feet.

Because he is bound to me in love,
therefore will I deliver him; *
I will protect him, because he knows my Name.

He shall call upon me, and I will answer him; *
I am with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and bring him to honor.

With long life will I satisfy him, *
and show him my salvation.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.

We Larsens

2010-08-12T23:04:00.005-05:00

Our dear friend, Shaun Menary, took a few spontaneous photos of us the other day. {My heart overflows with thanks...}

It is the sweetest gift to grow old with my best friend and it is just as sweet to watch our family grow. "Ever since I met you beauty has a name."

Thank you, Shaun, for friendship, laughs and great photos.

You can view his work here.

Life is good.

Longing to see them...

2010-08-03T22:57:00.002-05:00

"Now may our God and Father himself and our Lord Jesus Christ direct our way to you."
- I Thessalonians 4:11

I know in my bones that I will be experiencing much of this longing when our dear friends The Peabodys move to London come January. God is preparing me to let them go and do his will...

::: Last few days of being ONE :::

2010-07-28T14:49:00.003-05:00

Can't believe she will be 2 YEARS OLD on Saturday! What a gift she is to us!

5 Minutes of Happiness

2010-06-08T01:16:00.003-05:00

Here are a few photos of Life 3 days before she went in for a shunt replacement. I'll update the blog soon with details about our stay at Childrens' part IV. But, here is our little cutie from last Monday night:

Photos of our Toronto Trip

2010-06-07T22:02:00.004-05:00

To view photos of our Toronto trip, click over to my photo blog at http://www.laurenlarsenblog.com. Here's a glimpse of what you will see:

WHHAAT???? just found this cutie!

2010-06-07T21:22:00.003-05:00

I have no idea when this was videoed, but my guess is February. And gosh is she CUTEEEE!!!!!

5th Year Anniversary Trip

2010-05-14T10:00:00.003-05:00

Matt and I just got home from Toronto where we spent 5 days enjoying our 5 years of marriage. We had a few reasons for taking a trip to Toronto. Firstly, we went to visit University of Toronto (namely Wycliffe College) where Matt is applying to do his PhD. We absolutely loved the school. The professors were amazing people with hearts of gold and the spiritual environment was full of depth and humility. Secondly, we visited Toronto because the city is incredible and we love cities. And thirdly, we visited so we could see Niagra Falls. Our trip was an incredible vacation and definitely something we needed at the end of this school year (for Matt) and the start of a busy summer. I'll recap the trip with pictures soon. For now, I'm going to snuggle with our little Life because we missed her like CRAZY!!

Peace of the Lord.

ain't got what we got

2010-05-06T23:45:00.002-05:00

[he] just // blew in // [to] the // windy city

The windy city // is mighty pretty

But they ain't got what we got // no sirree

... Dallas is better.

Carter Kids

2010-05-05T23:19:00.004-05:00

A few photos of my brother's beautiful kids from Tuesday:

Life & Campbell

2010-05-05T23:10:00.002-05:00

Life (21 months) and cousin, Campbell (16 months), sharing a few Cheese-Its and BaBa. Sweetness!

A Keen Vision

2010-05-04T23:24:00.002-05:00

If we had a keen vision of all ordinary human life, it would be like hearing the grass grow or the squirrel's heart beat, and we should die of the roar which lies on the other side of silence.
- George Elliot

...Despite this wadding, the artist in the moment of creation does hear the tiny beating of the squirrel heart and does indeed die to self on the other side of silence, where he retains the vision which includes angels and dragons and unicorns. The great artists never lose this quality which the world would limit to children.
- Madeline L'Engle "Walking on Water"

::: Please Pray for Shea :::

2010-04-27T22:45:00.003-05:00

Our dear friend, Mya, has a brother who has been in the ICU for over 40 days suffering from liver failure. We are asking everyone to know to pray healing for Shea. Here are the specific needs they are having as a family, and especially for Shea:

-First and foremost please pray for total & complete healing for Shea.

-Please pray for major improvements in the liver & kidney function

-Pray that the infection would continue to be healed by the antibiotic

-Pray that Shea's blood pressure would get better & that he would be able to be weened off one of the meds so that he can go outside... (This would be a major encouragement to Shea)

-Pray that Shea's appetite would come back & that he would have a desire to eat more

-Pray for Shea's spirits that they would continue to be lifted. Pray for perseverance and strength for him to continue to keep fighting & not give in. Pray for peace & rest for Shea as well.

-Also, please pray for peace, rest, & strength for our whole family.Pray that Shea will beat all odds. That he will be a walking testimony to God's healing and protection. That his life would be evidence of the power of people united in prayer.

We can't thank you enough for your continued support, prayers, and love that you have shown to Shea & our family. Thank you for your willingness to take time to pray for Shea. Your prayers have and will always be deeply cherished by Shea & by our whole family.

Mya sent these requests out to me tonight and so now I am passing the word along to all of you who so kindly prayed for Life. Thank you all so much!

Hearing the Squirrels Breathe

2010-04-25T22:38:00.006-05:00

How on earth could I almost forget about this blog [see post below]? I shutter as I hear a collective "WTH?" from everyone who followed Life's journey. But, when I wrote that post, I had almost forgotten about this blog (gasp!) because I have been entrenched in my work and the blog that has an overwhelming since of power over my mornings and evenings.

Work. A great and fulfilling task that we do. A wonderful work by which we make expressions of deeper truths. A joyful expression, but an expression that sometimes can be work, a mere job, if I (in my line of work) forget the calling to create.

Through the eyes of our child [Life], I am learning what it means to "listen to the squirrels breathe." To be in tune with life to the point that I can hear what is seemingly silent. To have the ability to see time stand still.

"Our work should be our play. If we watch a child at play for a few minutes, seriously at play, we see that all his energies are concentrated on it. He is working very hard at it. And that is how the artist works, although the artist may be conscious of discipline while the child simply experiences it." (L'Engle)

Working heartily with all your passion (play), discipline and talent while being fully aware of the "squirrels breathing" is an art form. I am not sure how to apply the state of mind and spirit that leads us to that place, but I am thankful for the quiet nights that have lead me back to A Royal Allegiance moments where I am hard at work enough to be an artist again.

Vision

2010-04-22T21:36:00.004-05:00

"Vision keeps breaking through and must find means of expression."
-Madeline L'Engle

::: River Walk on 4.9.2010 :::

2010-04-22T21:32:00.001-05:00

I almost forgot...

2010-04-07T21:24:00.007-05:00

...that we had this little blog until I wondered where I was going to record that Life sang "Jesus Loves Me" to sleep for the first time last night. I don't keep a baby book for her, and since that was a baby-book-worthy moment, I decided to post it here. She did, in fact, sing Jesus Loves Me after I tucked her into bed last night and it was the cutest thing ever. Granted, it sounded a little bit like "Jesus huus umm dis hu no..." but people, it was "Jesus Loves Me" if I have ever heard it! As I laid her down in her crib after singing it to her, she continued to hum it and broke out into song, words and all! I do believe we have a little singer on our hands. She's a natural. Even carried the tune just beautifully! (And I, of course, am the most unbiased of sources). So a moment in the history of Life. She sang "Jesus Loves Me" to sleep on April 6, 2010. A precious moment that is baby-book/baby-blog worthy.

Our little girl is now 20 months. Sweet, happy, full of Life! Lover of mommy and daddy, reading, dancing and all things BABY! She loves her new niece Olive, her aunts Mon-Na-Na and Izzy, her friend Yaun (@shaunmenary), and playing outside (especially if it involves climbing stairs, playing in water and getting the mail).

She is inspiring. Her curiosity and creativity are unbridled, untamed. She is strong yet sensitive. She is intuitive. She is beautiful. She is fearfully and wonderfully made.

I thoroughly enjoy everything about her. She is a gift to my momma-soul that has forever changed what the color "yellow" means to me. New [L]ife, everyday. Life to the fullest. She is a gift that has made me see God more clearly, and because of her, I am forever changed. I just love her so much it hurts! And that is just the way I like it!

A few pics of Life from Easter. Her early morning Easter basket and then her pretty pink Easter dress that her Honey got for her. Doll!

Just love this little action shot of her. Life on a mission:

2010-01-26T13:55:00.000-06:00

2010-01-24T21:51:00.000-06:00

Curious

2010-01-24T20:25:00.004-06:00

Found this little treasure in a file from December 2009. Little curious munchkin:

The difference a moment makes

2010-01-19T10:05:00.000-06:00

2010-01-19T07:17:00.001-06:00

If you’re really a truth-teller, you better be funny, otherwise they will kill you.
— Fran Leibowitz

(thank you for this great quote, @andrewshepherd.)

2010-01-18T22:03:00.002-06:00

some photos of Life lately...

She is amazing.

::: Found a little treasure! :::

2009-12-21T20:44:00.002-06:00

I found this video of Life at 13.5 months on my desktop tonight. Thought I'd share! She's changed so much in 3 months I can hardly believe it!

Breakfast Chatter

2009-12-18T08:36:00.004-06:00

Might be slightly on the "more boring" side of home videos... but we'll want to look back on the usual times one day. :) So, here's one for us in 10 years. The usual breakfast chatter:

::: would like to see :::

2009-12-17T23:02:00.001-06:00

This view from the car... completely covered in snow!

{one day!}

::: Life & Alley Cat :::

2009-12-09T09:41:00.002-06:00

First thing she does when she wakes up in the morning is hug and kiss Alley Cat and it's the last thing she does when she goes to bed. This could not be a more perfect moment of Life at 16 months. She's so full of love and sweetness:

::: coffee lover :::

2009-11-29T20:47:00.002-06:00

::: long haired coffee lover :::

2009-11-29T20:10:00.002-06:00

:::NORMAL!:::

2009-11-29T20:08:00.001-06:00

Long time no post! The Echo Cardiogram and the EGK were both normal! Praise God! Her Pulmonary Hypertension is completely resolved and the hole in her heart has grown back and is no longer there. Praise God! Thanks for the prayers as always!

Another echo cardiogram

2009-11-18T22:07:00.002-06:00

Life has another echo cardiogram tomorrow morning. I find myself wondering why she has to do this again. The pediatrician wanted her to go and get a follow-up appointment since she had been having some weird spells where she was waking up and turning a slight blue/gray color. When I think about the implications of these tests I get nervous, but I'm comforted when I see an amazingly active and smart little girl dance before me. Please pray for her tests to be normal. I rejoice at "normalcy."

Also, Matt and I are going to buy a video camera. What the heck have we been doing for the past 15.5 months not having one? Are you kidding me? We miss moments like these sweet videos down below all the time. Once we get a video camera I will try to take better care of this little blog. It's much easier to post videos than photos since all of my photos turn into big projects for me.

Please pray that the tests come back normal. As always, we so appreciate you.

hugs,
M&L

Historic!

2009-11-08T23:01:00.003-06:00

Today is historic. We paid off my student loan! {Insert shouts of joy.}

I love living simply...

Cheers to the simple life! And no more college debt!

::: Little Smacker :::

2009-09-17T12:43:00.000-05:00

Life's cute little 13 month old voice

2009-09-09T22:47:00.001-05:00

::: oh :::

2009-08-28T23:26:00.003-05:00

And I will try to get more recent pics of her up on here. I've been such a slacker lately! :)

I guess that's what being busy will do to you! It will take you straight to slackerville!

::: one year ago today :::

2009-08-28T23:12:00.003-05:00

We brought Life home from the Children's Medical one year ago today. What a difference a year makes. When we brought her home, she was a 5 or 6 pound tiny girl (we never got her weight before she left the hospital) hooked up to 1/8th oxygen. She didn't wean from the oxygen until my birthday (9/11) and I thought that was the longest time for her to be on oxygen. In the grand scheme of things, we were only at Children's for 4 weeks and she was only on oxygen for 2 weeks at home, but it felt like an eternity. And in reality, all that happened to her should have taken much longer for her to recover from. (Mercy, truly!)

There's not a day that goes by when I don't thank God for what He has done for her. A Severe Mercy was given to my soul with the entrance of our little girl. It was nothing like I would have planned it to be, but it glorified our God and it changed me forever. And for that, I am forever grateful.

Thank you, Jesus, for one year ago today the gift of bringing our little girl home. Thank you for what a difference a year makes.

---

Some new developments with Life:
- She is highly allergic to eggs.
- She is going to have to go into Childrens' for an overnight (or two) study (a sleep study EEG) to determine if she is having seizures. Last week, she had her fourth episode of turning bluish/gray and floating in a semi-unconscious-state in the middle of the night. Her pediatrician thinks that they might be night terrors, but this also could be a sign that she is having seizures. It comforted me to hear that she is allergic to eggs though because one of the times when she had one of these episodes was right after I gave her scrambled eggs. Apparently, she is extremely allergic to eggs. (Relief!)

I'll keep you guys posted on her studies and how you can best be praying for her. For right now, please pray for normal brain activity. Pray that these reactions that she is having are not seizures but just an allergic reaction to eggs. We can handle an egg allergy easily.

May God be glorified through the healing of our little girl. He has done great things in her and will continue to do so...

I love you all.
~Lauren

:::Your Formal Invitation:::

2009-07-08T22:24:00.003-05:00

We realize that it might seem a strange idea to open our daughter’s first birthday party up to the public. But her entry into this world had many hanging in the gallows with us as we walked through the darkest moments of our lives. We were introduced to parenthood with a violent wake-up call to the fragility of life. We felt such immense pain and incredible joys and many of you walked through it with us. Many of you lived those feelings with us. Many of you held our hands, prayed throughout the nighttime, and many rooted for her (and us) silently on the sidelines only to have us feel your presence with us in the darkness. To all of you, we thank you. If you are our close friends, family or a silent cheerer on the sideline, you have marked our hearts forever. Thank you for rooting for Life. Thank you for lifting us up. Thank you for being a source of strength for us when we were weary. Thank you for praying for us when we felt too much pain to voice a prayer. And, now, thank you for celebrating with us.

We would love nothing more than to have you be a part of the milestone of Miss Life’s first birthday. There are moments when you celebrate with every part of your being, and this is one of them for us. Please join us in thanking God for Life.

Visit The Pearl Cup on the web at: http://www.thepearlcup.com/

:::Little Miss Sunshine is Turning ONE!:::

2009-06-29T22:20:00.005-05:00

To celebrate the gift of Life on her 1st birthday, come join us at:

The Pearl Cup Espresso Bar
1900 N. Henderson Ave, Dallas, TX 75206

When: Saturday, August 1st

Time: 4:30pm-6:30pm

Come and hear live music, eat some amazing cake with Miss Life, and support The Pearl Cup by trying out their amazing signature drink, the Pearl Latte (or any other beverage of your choice). Everyone's invited to celebrate with us. God has done amazing things. Let us give thanks.

Hope to see you there.

The Pearl Cup's main focus is providing the best espresso and customer service in an environment that is welcoming and comfortable. They use a La Marzocco espresso machine and have trained their baristas to create truly hand crafted beverages – even down to the latte art. Visit them on the web at www.thepearlcup.com.

:::10 Month little Life:::

2009-05-31T22:07:00.002-05:00

I can hardly believe that I gave birth to Miss Life 10 months ago today. Where does the time go? Someone, please slow down time and make the hours last a little bit longer.

I opened up our Celtic Prayer Book and found this prayer and thought how fitting it was for how I am feeling towards Life tonight:

May the Father of Life pour out His grace on you;
May you feel His hand in everything you do
and be strengthened by the things He brings you through:
this is my prayer for you.

May the Son of God be Lord in all your ways;
may He shepherd you the length of all your days,
and in your heart may He receive the praise:
this is my prayer for you.

And despite how simple it may sound,
I pray that His grace may abound
and motivate everything you do;
and may the fullness of His love be shared through you.

May His Spirit comfort you, and make you strong,
may He discipline you gently when you're wrong,
and in your heart may He give you a song:
this is my prayer for you.

May Jesus be Lord in all your ways,
may He shepherd you the length of all your days,
and in your heart may He receive the praise:
this is my prayer for you, my prayer for you.

:::Memorial Day Happenings:::

2009-05-25T23:06:00.004-05:00

Happy Memorial Day to you! A special thank you to those of you who have served our country.

Today Deanna, Medea and our little babes packed up Deanna's Tahoe and headed out to the mall to spend our day off shopping for the summer essentials: bathing suits, razors, shorts, and sleepers (you know, just the once every-three-month essential outing for bigger sleepers for the little one!). We had a successful shopping trip and ended the outing with three sleeping children (for the most part). We even got to eat our lunch semi-uninterrupted. A little gift!

It took us about 35 minutes to pack up the car with car seats, strollers, diaper bags and our tiny humans. When we were ready to roll, Wheeler and Rob took about 10 pictures of us. They thought it was a pretty hilarious site. Here's my personal favorite from the beginning of the day:

The three amigos:

Life and Ashten, the besties. As you can see here, Life is a little sleepy child. Poor baby. She's going through a faze of not napping, crying through her naps, or sleeping for 30 minutes and waking up crying. I've been reading lately about how I can help her get the sleep that she needs and apparently this is very common for babies to go through at 9 months. It's been more difficult than I would have expected because she used to sleep so easily and if she wouldn't go to sleep, I generally knew why. Now I have no idea why she's not sleeping and she doesn't fall asleep to the things that she used to. Anyways, if you care to read more, scroll down.

We finished the day off with BBQ and pool time at Rob's parents' house. Life got to swim in a pool for the first time! She is sporting her brand new swim suit from Old Navy that we got on our little adventures this afternoon and she is cruising in her little ducky that she bathes in. Life LOVES her ducky. Every time we open the curtain to the bathtub her little face lights up and she starts clapping. She then starts reaching over the edge of the tub trying to pull herself into her yellow ducky. I'm not quite sure she felt that excited today about the ducky being in the cold water, but she liked her first experience in the pool. She especially loved being with her precious Daddy!

Going back to Life's current sleeping dilemma: Tonight I was so puzzled about what I should do to get her to fall asleep because we've tried, what feels like, almost every option in the book. So, feeling extra deflated, I went into her room and prayed out loud over her while I held her. I sang to her and just asked God to help me not feel so much stress because of her lack of sleep and her fussiness and just asked him to help her sleep. I then laid her down, kissed her sweet little cheek, and walked out of her room. Not a sound came out of her little mouth. She was quiet for about 5 minutes and then I could hear her little tired whimper for about a minute and then she fell asleep on her own. Thank you, Lord. I didn't have to hear her cry herself to sleep tonight. That was a gift to me.

She woke up once after that, but cried for only about 2 minutes and fell back asleep. Another little gift to my momma's heart.

Even through my feelings of frustration and not knowing what to do for her, I'm just thankful. So overwhelmingly thankful for this life of mine.

I'm so wildly in love with this precious family that God has given me. God is a good Father and he gives good gifts to his children. I'm thankful that I'm learning on multiple levels what that means. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lord! You do great things.

Thanks to all of you for reading our little blog and checking up on Miss Life. Thanks for all the prayers you've prayed for us, tears you've cried, and laughs we've shared. I'm happy to have this little outlet to share Life's story with the world. And I'm thankful for each and everyone of you guys.

:::9 Months, 3 Weeks:::

2009-05-22T09:15:00.004-05:00

Since I didn't do Life's 9 month update on her actual 9 month birthday, we'll do an update on her 9 month and 3 week birthday plus one day (all the results are from yesterday though.)

Life weighed in at 17.2lbs and is 46inches. She's in the 10-20th% for weight and the 50% for height. Go girl!!

She waved and said "hi" to her doctor. As her momma, I was bursting with excitement to show the doctor how far she has come! Dr. Grant was thoroughly pleased with Life's health and overall ability to engage with others. Praise God. What a gift she is to us!

Here's a pic of Life after she got weighed. She is waving to you! She's a sweetie!

Hope you all are doing wonderful!

:::NO, Mr. President:::

2009-05-20T23:33:00.003-05:00

Christians, fellow Saints, please stand up. No more of this sideline pacifist toleration. Abortion is wrong.

Children. Life. Human beings.

Shame on us for watching this unfold on this sidelines. Lord, have mercy. Put this to right, Father.

:::Today:::

2009-05-15T00:15:00.003-05:00

Walked into Life's room and found this little one STANDING in her crib!

Also! She had her first little swim in a blow up pool. Big girl, I'd say!

And, finally, in true Lifey fashion: the reach!

:::One Year Ago Today:::

2009-05-12T19:39:00.003-05:00

I went into preterm labor with Life! I was 23 weeks and 6 days pregnant.

My how time flies. And what a difference a year makes.

I met Dr. Romberg and Dr. Magee today last year and there's not a week that has gone by since that I haven't thanked God for them! I love you both and miss you. Thanks for pulling out all the stops to keep Life from coming to us too soon! You two did a great job!

:::Our Little Fam Lately:::

2009-05-10T21:48:00.004-05:00

Life is 9 months! She's crawling (mostly army crawling, but she can crawl on all fours when she wants to!) and she's pulling up and walking around objects. She's saying "hi" but only Matt and I know when she's saying it. It kind of sounds like gibberish, but it's the real deal baby "hi" from Miss Lifey! She's also a party animal! The girl won't sleep if she knows there are friends around. Wonder where she got that from.

Praise God for the gift of this Mother's Day. I'm so filled with thanks that if feel like my heart's bursting at the seams!

I love this picture! That happy talking face just makes me smile so big my lips hurt!

:::We're Back!:::

2009-05-04T23:30:00.003-05:00

We're back in Dallas with our sweet little girl and I am happy to report that she didn't forget us while we were gone. My parents met us at the airport with Life secure in her car seat. I had to restrain myself from going straight out to the car to see her when we got to the baggage claim. Instead, I went to the bathroom and washed my hands, cause you know there was Swine Flu all over them (wink!!) and then hurried to the car to see the sweet little one.

Upon opening the car door, she started flappin'! That's my girl! In true Lifey fashion, she flapped for me! That made my little heart smile (my heart smiles. Does yours?).

Then, (this is the best part!!!) I pulled her from her car seat and she began kissing me repetitively. I mean, she kissed me probably 30 times!

I'm the luckiest momma in the world! Sweet Lifey kisses are the best.

She makes this sweet sound when she kisses. She must have learned that from somewhere! ;) Watch the videos, you'll know what I mean!

Just wanted to report that after 4 days of being away from our little girl, she still remembers us. Fewf!

Praise be to God for moments like these!

:::Life Today:::

2009-04-29T19:37:00.001-05:00

We're heading to Colorado tomorrow and I'm getting very sentimental. We'll be leaving Life with my family for 4 days...

So, I documented a little bit of our play time today. I love this little girl with every inch of my being.

Hope these make you smile!

:::The Remedy to Being Homesick:::

2009-04-29T17:37:00.003-05:00

Big Daddy and Honey,

Life is sending you kisses all the way to South Africa. She thought that this might be a good remedy to homesickness.

We love you!

:::The Definition of Cutie:::

2009-04-28T23:53:00.002-05:00

:::To Big Daddy and Honey:::

2009-04-28T10:23:00.002-05:00

:::Life waves!!!:::

2009-04-27T12:25:00.002-05:00

:::Life time @ almost 9 months:::

2009-04-25T13:13:00.002-05:00

She's the best human ever.

:::Mercy:::

2009-04-11T10:28:00.003-05:00

Life is doing awesome...

I must apologize for not letting you all know the results of her EEG sooner. They came back normal, praise God! Since Life had a brain bleed, a doctor had told us before her appointment that most likely the EEG would be abnormal, just how abnormal was the question. When the results came back normal, we took that as another level of healing that God had preformed in our precious Life. His mercy overwhelms me.

I had the sweetest privilege to tell Life's story to one of our students in MERGE the other night. While I was sharing, I told her that "Life is God's mercy to my soul." I realize that this is a very striking statement. But, I think I can attempt to describe what I mean by this in words now. I know this will not describe the fullness of what my heart feels, but it will bring some clarity to the magnitude of this statement.

When I was praying over Life when she was on ECMO and we had just gotten the news that she developed a grade 3 brain bleed, I begged God for his mercy. Even repeating the words in my head now brings tears to my eyes. "Lord have mercy over my soul." Anguish filled me. Tears flooded the side of her bedding and my heart felt like it had been smashed into thousands of pieces. Mercy. I cried for mercy.

And then, peace that surpasses all my understanding. Mercy reigned. In me. In Life. No matter what happened. Mercy reigned.

This precious little human being gradually started getting better. A dim light. Hope.

Love filled every part of me. I loved a human I didn't even know. For the first time I had a taste of the Herculean strength of motherly love.

Then Light and Life broke through the darkness of the sickness that reigned over her and WON.

And we were given the humbling gift of a healed daughter. Restored.

Life and Light... reigning in our Life.

So the story goes. But it doesn't end there. The anguish that I felt that month spent at Children's, the anguish that cries out "MERCY, LORD! MERCY!" That profound trial has taught me that God... loves... me. As I praise God with an overflowing heart of love and thanks for Life, so He loves me with an even stronger passion.

But...

A long time ago, in a deep dark corner of my heart, yeast crept in, slowly working its way into the entirety of my being convincing me that I was unworthy of God's love. And as much as I would preach to myself that God loves me and I shouldn't feel so guilty, or shouldn't feel so insecure, or shouldn't feel so unlovable, or shouldn't feel so horrible all the time about myself, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't convince myself that God loves me.

So, in God's great mercy, He showed me through Life how much He loves me.

I would do anything for her. I love her fiercly, passionately, eagerly, compassionately, gently, motherly, like a child, like a friend, with anguish poured over her, with prayers and tears drenching her crib, with arms lifting her up to heaven. I love her. I love her soul. I love her toes. I love her spit up. I just love her. She is mine. And I love her so passionately that I would die for her.

And then it hits me. God's first mercy came with the physical healing of Life. But the second mercy keeps coming, revealing itself deeper with each moment I get with Life.

This is how God loves me. Like I love Life. Only He loves me better. Perfect love.

A tiny understanding that I am loved by God. What mercy to my soul.

Thank you, Jesus. Abba, Father. Daddy. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving each and every one of us this way. Every person everywhere should know in the depths of their bones that You love them. You bring life. Thank you for bringing Life and Light (in so many ways...).

Oh praise you, merciful Father.

Our precious one at 8 Months. To see larger images go to www.laurenlarsenblog.com.

:::A Quick Update:::

2009-03-26T08:58:00.003-05:00

Life is doing awesome.

She is almost 8 months (GASP! I know, time is flying by... where is it going? Please, don't go too fast!) She's happy and "flappy" (as we like to call it) most of the time. And has a very sweet disposition. We love watching her little personality come out. She's awesome.

Yesterday we were up at Childrens' for an EEG that doctors ordered for Life back in February. She did great through the EEG only shedding some tears, but not really putting up a huge fight. The goal is for the child to fall asleep during the test and she did, so I was relieved that they were able to get the most accurate read of her brain waves. It appeared from the reaction of the man who was preforming the EEG that the read was normal, but he could not tell us. The doctors will read the results sometime today and we should have the results by tomorrow. We are praying for good results! And we are full of hope that they will be.

Last week Life weighed 15lbs 10oz and was 26 1/2 inches long. She's TALL! In the 65% for height and the 20% percentile for weight.

She's saying Momma and Dadda and knows who she's talking about. Who knows, maybe this is a sign of Mensa in her future? It's strange to hear this tiny person call out to Momma or Dadda.

She's not crawling, but she is trying to start to pull up on things. She really doesn't like being on her belly. That's ok with me... we're not in a hurry for her to be too mobile yet.

Life looks so much like Matt it's crazy. I love that. She reminds me of him throughout the day when he's at work. How precious!

Thanks for your continued prayers for her... and us. You guys are such a blessing to us. We hope and pray the peace of the Lord's is yours in the fullest.

Much love to you.

:::Miss Life @ 7 Months:::

2009-03-08T23:38:00.003-05:00

Only the most precious laugh in the world!! (more pics posted on www.laurenlarsenblog.com)

:::Lauren Larsen Blog:::

2009-03-04T00:11:00.002-06:00

NEW PHOTOS ARE UP @ http://laurenlarsenblog.com/

Hope you guys enjoy!

[blessings in the fullest]

Who's the Cutest Little Summergirl You Ever Did See?

2009-03-02T00:56:00.003-06:00

Miss Life is!!!!!!

:::Mercy: The Life that melts me:::

2009-03-01T22:29:00.004-06:00

During this Lenten season, I've been thinking about God's kindness and slowness to anger, His mercy that reigns. I haven't put my thoughts into words yet and am not sure that even if I had put them to words if I would be able to share them with you all, but there is one depiction of God's mercy that I see everyday that constantly brings me to my knees.

The season of Lent (where we confess our sin, realize our mortality, and prepare our hearts for Easter), is here and the reality of what we [Matt and I] have been given with the gift of Life is even more real that it has been before. We do not deserve her, but by God's mercy, she is here: happy and a genuinely "nice" person (as Big Daddy likes to call her).

Life is God's mercy to my soul.

This face teaches me that daily. It constantly melts me.

Flappin': To Big Daddy

2009-02-21T21:22:00.004-06:00

Ashten & Life: The Kiss that Ended Badly

2009-02-17T20:51:00.001-06:00

Life Talks

2009-02-17T15:40:00.001-06:00

Life Life and more Life

2009-02-16T00:09:00.004-06:00

Life at 6 1/2 months. She is precious and happy (most) all the time.

:::And INTRODUCING:::

:Life's BLUE STEEL:

A day and a half at Children's. (Remembering the smells.)

2009-02-15T18:42:00.004-06:00

Well...

You guessed it.

Matt and I spent all day Friday and part of Saturday at Children's hospital with our sweet Life.

At 6:18am Friday morning, Matt and I woke up to a strange cry from our sweet girl and immediately we rush to her bed. I picked her up only to feel a limp and sweaty little girl. I tried to feed her thinking she was just hot from being bundled up too tight, but there was no response from her. I quickly took off her sleeper as Matt sprung to turn on the lights to see what was wrong with her. All the while, this little terrible cry kept coming from our little girl.

Her whole body was tinged the color gray and her lips were slightly blue. We rushed her to the bath to see if that would wake her up and bring back her color. But, she did not really even notice that she was in the bath...

So being the over-alert-slightly-paranoid mother (all things which I feel as though I have been given the unique load to bear these days), I begin to question whether Life just had a seizure.

While Life was being dried off, she started acting like herself. Her color was coming back and she was calm and peaceful.

We thought to ourselves: Well, maybe we shouldn't even take her to the hospital. Maybe we over-reacted? Maybe she was just in a deep sleep and was dreaming? Maybe she really wasn't blue? Maybe we were just imagining that there was something wrong?

After talking it over, we decided to head to Children's and have her checked out.

As we walked through the emergency doors, I was relieved to see that Life was chewing on her chew toys and occasionally smiling back at me.

The entire day was filled with test after test after test. All bringing reassurance that she is healthy and that her shunt is doing ok. She has no infection, her CT scan looks good, her x-rays look good, her blood results are good, she doesn't have the flu, she never ran a fever, her O2 levels were perfect, her EKG results were normal... EVERYTHING looked good!

So... doctors came to the conclusion that she might have choked because she still has Reflux. OR, she had a seizure.

Both these options are very possible, and both should be taken very seriously. So, in the coming weeks, we will go back to Children's for an EEG (which measures brain activity) to see if there is abnormal activity indicating that she is having seizures. And to address Life's Reflux, she has been put back on her Reflux meds.

In my mother's instict, I think it makes sense that she could have choked and had a reaction like the one that she had that morning. But in my understanding of babies with brain bleeds and shunts, I know it is very possible that she could have had a seizure.

I took this little episode as a reminder that Life is God's child. She is a gift to us and every second of every day is a gift.

I felt my heart this weekend in ways like I felt in August of 2008. In a small way, these lessons are reminders of how much God must love me[/us]. I still wrestle with the fact that I really don't "like" living with this trial. I would have prefered Life to never have had to experience all the things she has. But I know in the deepest parts of me that this is bringing glory to God. This is a trial and I should "consider it joy when we face trials of any kind." That brings me comfort. Through this, God has made me "feel my heart" and love him more.

We are grateful for all that God has done in Life's life and we consider this Gift, Joy. For when I smell the halls of Children's, I know deeply what God (in his mercy and might) is able to do.

For the unemployed

2009-02-07T10:04:00.002-06:00

Many of my friends and many within the MERGE community are out of work, spending their 8-5 looking for employment. Lauren and I came across this prayer today and wanted to post it for all of us to see.

Heavenly Father, we remember before you those who suffer want and anxiety from lack of work. Guide the people of this land so to use our public and private wealth that all may find suitable and fulfilling employment, and receive just payment for their labor; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Interesting Story from today's Morning Prayer

2009-02-05T09:15:00.001-06:00

The Christian faith was first introduced into Japan in the sixteenth century by Jesuit and later by Franciscan missionaries. By the end of that century, there were probably about 300,000 baptized believers in Japan.

Unfortunately, this promising beginning met reverses, brought about by rivalries between different groups of missionaries and political intrigues by the Spanish and Portuguese governments, along with power politics among factions in the Japanese government itself. The result was a suppression of Christians.

The first victims were six Franciscan friars and twenty of their converts, who were executed at Nagasaki on 5 February 1597. (They were tied to crosses, the crosses were raised to an upright position, and they were then quickly stabbed to death by a soldier with a javelin.)

After a short interval of relative tolerance, many other Christians were arrested, imprisoned for life, or tortured and killed; and the Church was totally driven underground by 1630.

However, when Japan was re-opened to Western contacts 250 years later, it was found that a community of Japanese Christians had survived underground, without clergy, without Scriptures, with only very sketchy instructions in the doctrines of the faith, but with a firm commitment to Jesus as Lord. (I remind you that 250 years is a long time -- 250 years ago Americans were loyal subjects of King George II.)

written by James Kiefer

Prayer

O God our Father, source of strength to all your saints, who Brought the holy martyrs of Japan through the suffering of the cross to the joys of life eternal: Grant that we, being encouraged by their example, may hold fast the faith we profess, even to death itself; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

The Kingdom of God

2009-02-05T08:51:00.002-06:00

I am gonna to take a quick break from Genesis series to ask you a question. If anyone reading this thinks, "I am not really the theological type", you are the person I want to hear from.

What is the kingdom of God mean?

When you hear that phrase or read it somewhere (say ... in the Bible), what comes to mind?

As a pastor, I am interested in hearing how the non-preacher, non-seminarian, non-theologian will answer this question.

Genesis X

2009-02-04T08:22:00.004-06:00

"The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.'""- Moses in Genesis 3.2-3

Genesis 3 tells us the shape of temptation. It not only tells us how sin entered the world. It also tells us how sin enters the world. If you look close enough, you just might see yourself in this story.

The woman drops the ball in 2 ways here.

"We may eat fruit ... or you will die". God told them to eat, eat from the fruit, but not from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil or else they will die, die. Back in Moses' day, they didn't have highlighters and they didn't underline things. When they wanted to really, really emphasize something, they simply repeated it. God says eat, eat and die, die. Notice the kindness and the severity of God held together in tension. Eve just says eat and die. She neuters the radical kindness and severity of God and turns him into a cosmic Mr. Rogers. God is not radically, passionately working in your best interest. God does not really love you that much. God is not really that good. What's more, God is all bark, no bite. If you mess with Him, He might get ticked, but His punishment won't be that bad. This is what Satan wants us to think.
The second thing Eve does is introduce the concept of legalism. She says, "You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die." God never told them not to touch the tree. God doesn't care if they touch. They could climb it. They could swing from it. They could build a tree house in it. They could carve "Adam & Eve - BFF forever" in it, for all God cares. They just couldn't eat from it. But Eve missed that. She created rules to help her and Adam keep God's rules, which is OK, until she starts to enforce them as if they were God's rules. This is legalism: creating our own rules to help us keep God's rules, but enforcing them as if God commanded them.

Do you see yourself in this story? Have you ever reduced God's goodness? Have you ever reduced God's severity? Have you ever created a rule (even if with a good motive) and enforced it as if it was God's rule? Have you ever judged someone else because they don't keep your man-made rule?

Just so you know, here are my answers: yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.

If so, then notice, we are already slipping down the slope of temptation. Satan has us just where he wants us.

The serpent is crafty.

awaiting the Dawn

2009-02-04T08:22:00.001-06:00

The dawn is glowing in the east,
its golden gleam, as day flows in;
fast mount the pointed shafts of light:
farewell to darkness and the night.

Away you midnight phantoms all!
Away, despondence and despair.
Whatever guilt the night has brought,
now let it vanish into air.

So, Christ, as now this morning breaks,
looking to which we sing and pray,
O may it to your people prove,
the dawning of a better day.

Words: Anon (>8th C), adapted.
Music: Richard (L.M.), Morfydd Owen (20th C)
Sequence: Cathouse Pandemonium, Ltd

Genesis W

2009-02-03T09:10:00.003-06:00

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" - Moses in Genesis 3.1

In the first half of Genesis 3, we see the shape of temptation. Not only do we see how temptation happened, but we will also see how temptation happens. I promise, if you look close enough, you will see yourself in this story.

Look at the very first words out of the serpent's mouth. We can break his first sentence down into 2 parts.

"Did God really say ...". The first thing the serpent does it cast doubt on God's command and His promise. God makes promises to us. He promises that He loves us. He tells us that we are made in His image. He promises to save us. He tells us how to live life the way it was intended to be lived. And Satan's first move in temptation is to say to us, "Are you sure? Are you sure God loves you? Are you sure He will save you? Are you sure?"
"You must not eat from any tree in the Garden". The second thing the serpent does is turn the loving boundaries of God into restrictive commands. God told the man and the woman could "eat, eat" from all the trees of the Garden. But if they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they will "die, die". Notice the kindness and the severity of God. He is radically kind and good. And He is also radically severe. God creates loving boundaries for us for our good. Satan takes those boundaries and causes us to see them as harsh and restictive, as if God was trying to ruin our lives. God tells us to enjoy wine, but not drink too much, and He tells us that for our good. Satan wants us to think that being drunk is fun and that God is a cosmic killjoy. God tells us that sex is meant for one man and one woman in a covenant relationship with each other. Satan wants us to see this as a restriction, rather than the blessing that it is. I could go on with examples, but I think you get the point.

Satan casts doubt on God's promises and His word. Satan twists God's loving boundaries into harsh restictions. Sound familiar?

The serpent is crafty.

Genesis V

2009-02-02T06:28:00.003-06:00

"Now the serpent was more shrewd than any of the wild animals that the Lord God had made" - Moses in Genesis 3.1

The serpent is the personification ... ur, animalification of Satan. We know that from the New Testament. Moses tells us that the serpent won the trophy for shrewdness.

In the Bible, shrewdness is often cited as a good character quality. Satan takes things that can be used for good and uses them for evil. For example, sex to fornication, wine to drunkenness, self-confidence to arrogance, food to gluttony, passion to anger, ambition to selfish-ambition, etc.

When Satan shows up in our life, he is shrewd. He doesn't come knocking on your door in a red costume with horns and a pitch-fork saying, "Hey there! I'm the thief. I am here to steal, kill, and destroy. Do you mind if I come in?" No, if he did that, we would never let him in.

He shows up in way that at first appears harmless. He shows up looking slick and cool.

The serpant is crafty.

Power & Greatness

2009-02-01T15:15:00.003-06:00

Something sunk into my mind to a new level yesterday. Greatness = serving. I always knew this sounds crazy, but I hit home more than ever.

The greatest person in the world is the one who serves most.

Who is the greatest person in the world? The President? Famous athletes? Movie stars? High-powered CEO's? The American dream is to collect things and command people. They (whoever those rascals are) say the more people who you command dictates your greatness. The more you accomplish the greater you are. The more you succeed at winning and being the best determines how great you are.

Or maybe Billy Graham? Or even Bill Hybels? Rick Warren? Mark Driscoll? Most American Christians will lean towards this sort of an answer. Someone who is the best at evangelism, discipleship, preaching, church growth, etc. But who does Jesus see it?

But Jesus says that the one who serves the most is the greatest. This is largely at matter of motive, but also a matter of action. So the real question is: who serves people the most? Who is, as Jesus put it, "slave of all"?

So who is the greatest person in the world? Chances are, if we judge by Jesus' scale, we don't even know the name of the greatest person in the world. It might be a mom somewhere who spent her entire life serving her family, friends, and city. It might be a janitor who lovingly served his whole life and never asked for credit. It might be someone who influenced millions behind the scenes and never asked to be given all the recognition she deserved. Unlike the world's definition, being great in Jesus' book will usually go unnoticed. It is likely that the greatest person in the world would never even guess that they are the greatest person in the world.

I want to be great. I must serve. The more I serve others the greater I will be.

What if I never get noticed or get credit? Greatness as Jesus sees it, I suspect, will often go unnoticed ... except by Jesus. He notices.

Be great today.

A Prayer attributed to St. Francis of Assisi

2009-02-01T15:10:00.002-06:00

Lord, make us instruments of your peace. Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.

Genesis U

2009-01-31T09:00:00.002-06:00

"The man and his wife were both naked, but they were not ashamed." - Moses in Genesis 2.25

The key to this verse is the word, "but". The first human community were naked (i.e. fully known by each other), but despite the vulnerablity that comes from nakedness, they felt no shame.

They knew each other completely, everything, no secrets, and yet, they didn't have any fear of being exploited. They were able to trust each other and enjoy their relational intimacy with fear.

The first human community, the ideal human community, is one where we love each other. They trust each other. They protect each other. They work for the benefit of each other.

We live in community, even today - our marriages, our friendships, our families, our co-workers. The question is not will we live in community, but what kind of community will we live in. We are human. We have no choice, but community. It is just part of how we're wired. But the choice we do have is: what kind of community will we live in?

We have two basic options. First, we can choose to primarliy look out for ourselves and protect ourselves. But this is not the"naked but not ashamed" way. Second, we can choose to know each other an protect each other, working for each other benefit, cherishing the gift of knowing another person. This is the way of the first human community.

God created us to know each other, be "naked". But this makes us vulnerable, creating the possiblity of exploitation by defending ourselves by putting the other down. True human community, community that reflects the One that we image, choose to protect each other and love one another.

When we see each other's faults, we have a choice: point it out and shame one another OR protect one another and banish shame from our relationships. This is the way God intended. Let us choice paths that reflect the community of our Triune God.

Genesis T

2009-01-30T10:15:00.002-06:00

"So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,

‘This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
this one shall be called Woman,
for out of Man this one was taken.’

Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh." - Moses in Genesis 2.21-24

This is a great lesson about both marriage and true community. The man says that the woman is not merely someone near to him, but ... him. They are two people anymore, but one flesh. They used to be two people, but not anymore.

She is not merely someone near to him, but a part of him. He is not merely some person that plays an important role in his life, but he is an actual part of her. They are one flesh.

Here's what this means: true marriage and true community means shared identity. It means embracing the statement, "We share everything".

Her problems are also his problems. You cannot say, "Well, they've got a problem. I think I will be a good friend and help them with their problem." Or "Well, my wife is really having a problem over there, since I want to be a good husband I will go help her with her problem." Their problem is your problem. Her problem is your problem. Conversely, their success is your success. His joy is your joy. Their life is your life. Why? One flesh.

The place where the man ended and the woman began is blurred to the point where they can't even be discerned anymore.

This requires a change in identity. I am we. We are one. We share. We.

Share what? Yes! Share our problems? Yes! Share our celebrations? Yes! Share our hidden secrets? Yes! That's community the way God intended it. That's the way marriage is intended.

Do we see marriage and community this way? Probably not ... yet.

Our house frequently loses power. The power company just can't seem to keep a constant stream of electricity flowing into our house. And every time the power goes out, the coffee maker goes back to it's default settings. That wouldn't be so bad, except that my coffee maker has an option to brew "normal" and "strong" coffee (which really should read "good" and "brown water" in my humble option).

I always want the strong option. But sometimes when the power goes out, it goes back to the default settings - "normal" brew (i.e. brown water).

Today we need to pray that God would help us to reset our default settings about what it means to be married and to live in community with each other - from me to we, from mine to ours, from her problem to our problem, from his joy to our joy, from their struggle to our struggle, from her life to our life.

May God graciously guide our marriage and our friendships and our community into all that He intended them to be!

Genesis S

2009-01-28T19:27:00.003-06:00

Chris asked a question that cut right through the nonsense - what the deal with God dragging all these animals in front of Adam?

God declares that it is not good for man to be alone. How could something be not good before the entrance of sin the world?

We basically have two options in answering this question.

First, you could see that as a cosmic "oops". Maybe God had an epiphany after he made the man, "Oh rats! I messed that one up. I was on such a roll with "good" stuff, and then I botched it and made something that was "not good". Maybe God noticed a problem in his creation and then went about fixing it. The problem with this view is not only do you have to see God as making one mistake, but several mistakes, because the next thing he does it parade a heavenly [ur ... or ... earthly ... or are they really that far apart, anyway? :)] host of animals, each one not fitting the companionship needs that of the man. This is NOT a good option, since God does not make mistakes.
Second, you could see God teaching his child in the way any good parent would. God wanted the man to appreciate the gift of community, the gift of his bride. Adam needs to experience first-hand that it is not good for him to be alone. "God waits until Adam is prepared to appreciate the gift of the woman" (Waltke, 89). So God has Adam name the animals. Naming them involved coming to a thorough knowledge of what each animal was all about. At the very end of the project, I imagine Adam slowly, dejectedly turning to God and saying, "They all had companions, but none of them could be my compananion." God had effectively taught him the lesson - it is not good for man to be alone.

Do we appreciate our companions? Do you appreciate your community? More precisely, do you appreciate your wife? How would she answer that question?

Lauren and I are silly. We say silly things to each. It is fun. We like being silly.

Before I left the hose this morning for work, I snuck up behind Lauren and gave her a hug. I squeezed her and told her, "Oh Lauren! You are my little chicken!"

I was being silly. And she knew it. We both giggled like 5th graders. Then, as I was about to walk out the door, I though about this post.

Does Lauren know that she is loved and appreciated by me? Probably. But still I don't want the last thing that I say to you before I leave the house is - "You are my little chicken!" As much as we like being silly, I wanted to tell her something more ... real.

I walked back into the room, looked Lauren in the face, and did my best to express to her as clearly as possible exactly how much I apprecaite her.

God went out of the way to get us to truly appreciate our spouses. Let us not forget what a gift they are to us.

Art Prayer

2009-01-28T09:38:00.002-06:00

O God, who saints and angels delight to worship in heaven; Be always present with your servants who seek through art and music to perfect the praises offered by your people on earth; and grant to them even now glimpses of your beauty and your beautiful kingdom, and make them worthy at length to look at it unveiled forever; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

I read this in the Book of Common Prayer and thought of Lauren, Andrew, Wheeler, Shaun, Medea, Lindsay, Melanie, Lawrence, Jesse, Shelby, and so many others who seek to envision the kingdom of God through artistic means so that the rest of us get enjoy the glimpses God gives them.

I 3 Follow Up

2009-01-27T22:39:00.003-06:00

actually ... the most interesting part of the day for me was the side bar comments of the emcee, Pete Briscoe. He talked about the only time the word "failure" appears in his NIV Bible. It is in 1 Thessolonians 2.1.

Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, decided that his ministry in Thessolonica was NOT a failure - not empty, if you will.

Why was it not empty? He worked through opposition. He was true. He sought God's approval. He didn't self-promote.

Wow.

I don't know about you, but I think about failure a lot. It is a big fear of mine. Maybe the biggest. Failure at work. Failure as a friend. Failure in school. A good chunk of my motivation for too many of my activities is desparately trying to avoid failure. Failure functions as my boogie-man is the closet, my monster under the bed, my person chasing me in my dreams.

But what if I had misunderstood what failure actually is. What if I started to use Paul's criteria?

Did I give up or work through opposition?
Was what I did true?
Did I sought the approval of God or someone or something else?
Was I building for my kingdom or for God's kingdom?

I think of failure as the opposite of worldly success. But it is very possible to say, "I didn't give up. I was true. I sought God's approval. I was not self-promoting." and still be declared a failure in the world's way of looking at things.

What's more, Paul's criteria I can [by and large] control. I cannot control success. But I can decide to work through opposition, be true, seek God's approval, and not self-promote.

This does NOT mean that I won't fail now. It just redefines failure.

Not quite as scary. I will still fail. But the never failing Jesus never abandons his always failing followers. That I can handle.

I 3

2009-01-27T10:38:00.001-06:00

I am going to a conference today to hear Tim Keller, among others, give an address. Should be exciting.

http://innovation3gathering.com/

I will try to post some thoughts in response to his session either today or tomorrow.

Genesis R

2009-01-27T10:29:00.002-06:00

I want to simply ask a question that I hope will get us to think about one of the most interesting statements in all of the Scripture.

"The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone."" - Moses in Genesis 2.18

Here in Genesis chapter 2, before sin enters the world, how can something be not good? In Genesis 1, we are told over and over again that everything God made was "good". And it is not until Genesis 3 that everything gets messed up.

What is going on when God says, "It is not good for man to be alone"? What is the point? How is something not good even before sin enters the world? What point is God trying to make? Why does Moses tell us this?

In order to get the rest of the chapter, we will need to spend some time mulling over this question. So ... enjoy!

I would love to hear some thoughts for you about this question.

Genesis Q

2009-01-26T06:45:00.002-06:00

The Garden of Eden is presumably on the top of a mountain. Bruce Waltke makes this claim in his important commentary on Genesis.

He cites two reasons:

Ezekiel 28.16 speaking about Satan (through the figure of the King of Tyre) says, "So I defiled you and banished you from the mountain of God - the guardian cherub expelled you from the midst of the stones of fire." Thus, taken together with Genesis 3, this very sees Satan being kicked out of the Garden of Eden, which is described as the mountain of God.
Moses adds this weird section about a bunch of rivers. "Now a river flows from Eden to water the garden, and from there it divides into four headstreams." This paints a picture of Eden as on top of a mountain. This water finds it way from the high point of Eden and flows to the entirety of the earth. That is why the Psalmist says, "The river's channels bring joy to the city of God."

God's life-giving water is meant to flow out, filling the garden where heaven and earth meet and then overflow to the ends of the earth. The water is a picture of God's blessing. The original intention was that God's blessing would fill the place where heaven and earth meet, but not stop there. God's blessing was never meant to be keep to oneself. It is meant to flow out to every corner of the earth, bring life and joy wherever it goes.

Now, as people who have the promised Spirit of God living in us together, as people who exist to declare that God is indeed becoming King over the whole creation through Jesus, our lives must be that blessing. We must live as place where heaven and earth intersect (a pink spoon sample of what heaven looks like on earth), we must allow God's presence to wash over us so much that we are sent out, just like the original river of God, to bring blessing and refreshing to all the world.

God has blessed you. The reason He has blessed you is to be a blessing. God has healed you. The reason God has healed you is to send you out into the broken world as an agent of healing. God has liberated you. The reason God has liberated you is to send you out as an agent of liberation and freedom into a world in bondage to sin.

Genesis P

2009-01-23T11:48:00.003-06:00

"The Lord God formedthe man from the soil of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." - Moses in Genesis 2.7

The Hebrew word for man is adam. This is where we get the name Adam. But Moses is doing a play on words here to make a point. The Hebrew word for ground is adama. So Moses is saying that man is has a lot in common with the ground. It is not only our work, but also from what we came. It is [a small part of] our identity.

But at the same time, unlike anything else in creation, we have the breath of God in us. We live because we have God's breath filling us.

We are a walking paradox. We are made from dirt, yet we are filled with the very breath of God. We are weak and simple, yet we are complex and beautiful. We are fragile, yet we are capable of doing such great things.

We need to embrace both extremes of our identity. We are more like God than that anything else in creation, since we have his image and his breath in us. But we are also made out of dirt: fragile, weak, simple, and ... well ... dirt!

You are capable of so much. You can love people and bring healing to a hurting world. You can work and create something good. You can.

But don't forget that without God's breath, we are nothing but a little puddle of mud. If we can hold on to both ends of the spectrum, we will live happier and more fulfilled lives.

Never forget that adam without the breath of God is simply adama. Adama cannot do anything, cannot accomplish anything, except simply laying there being adama. But when God shows up and he breaths his breath in the adam, he now becomes capable of great things, even cooperating with God in his creation and shaping of God's good creation.

Without God we are dirt. With God, we can do anything. Never forget that.

Genesis O

2009-01-21T10:10:00.004-06:00

"Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earth and no plant had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no one to work the ground ... The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it." - Moses in Genesis 2.5 and 2.15

A couple observations:

There are no plants or shrubs on the ground yet. Moses gives two reasons why this is so. First, the LORD God had not sent rain. This is His part of the process. Second, the LORD God has no created a man to work the ground yet. This, in a roundabout way, is our part of the process (different order than Genesis 1; i.e. humans before vegetation). If we are honest with this text, what we see here is that the LORD God intends to create man to cooperate with him in creation. God will bring about plants and shrubs on the ground, and the means by which he will do it is through sending water and creating a human to work the ground. We are called to cooperate with God in creating and shaping this world, through our work. (NB - I do not mean that we create in the same sense that God creates. We are a part of creation called to cooperate with God in the continuing creation process)
Moses tells us that the reason that the LORD God placed the man in the garden was two-fold: to work and to maintain. Think about that: the garden, free from the disease of sin, required work and maintain. This seems to imply that it was not all that it could be yet (in need of work) and had the potential to fall into disarray (in need of maintainence). Does this blow your mind a little? I think most of us never thought of the garden of Eden that way. But, if you allow the words of Moses to speak for themselves, this is what the text seems to be saying.

Work is not a part of the present sinful world. Work is part of what it means to be human. God created humans to be workers. What's more, G0d gifted us with the privilege of partnering with Him in the creation and shaping of His good creation. What an honor!

Every person was created to work. That's why we all eventually get tired of being on vacation. That's why I heard a couple people from MERGE say to me, "Yeah, my Christmas break was good, but I actually ready to get back to work/class."

And really, we all know this anyway. Remember how good it feels to know that you nailed that assignment your boss or teacher gave you? You and I both like to work hard and accomplish something worthwhile. Sin often thwarts our efforts ("Cursed is the ground because of you ... It will produce thorns and thistles for you" - Genesis 3.17ff), but, nevertheless, we need to work.

You were created by God to work. What's more, you were created to accomplish a special task. What did God create you to do? What work did God purpose you to do? Are you doing that?

We need to learn to see our work, not as necessary part of a sinful, broken world, but as part of what it means to be a human. We need to learn to creatively express ourselves through our work, just as God did in His.

For most of you, you're probably reading this at work (even if your work entails mothering a child), I hope that this post serves as an inspiration to your work day. Go be Genesis 2 people! Co-partner with God in creating and shaping His good creation! Figure out how your job plays a part in that! Focus on the goodness of your job (i.e. how does your job benefit the human race?)

Go be a worker! Go be a human!

Inaugurated

2009-01-20T09:21:00.002-06:00

Today is historic. America celebrates the inauguration is it's first black President.

I don't care if you have a big Republican elephant tattooed on your neck, if you are a Christian, today is to be chalked up as a victory.

There are a couple non-negotiables that all Christians must support. Yes, abortion is one of them. But so is racial equality. We need to focus on what we have in common, not what divides us. Today is a one of those "small step ... giant leap" kind of days.

A people group that was oppressed and enslaved for hundreds of years are now sending a representative to be the most powerful person in the world. This is a story of redemption and restoration. These are the kinds of stories that Christians like.

Jesus' mission was to launch the reign of God on the earth, through his birth, life, death, and resurrection. Today we see a small bit of that reign invading our broken, sinful, racist world. God is still in the business of putting broken things back to rights.

... and for that, we celebrate!

Genesis N

2009-01-20T07:34:00.002-06:00

The second creation account looks at the whole deal from a different point of view, like looking at a mountain from the east and then moving to the south.

In all of chapter 1, Moses refers to God. But now in chapter 2, he refers to him as the LORD God exclusively. What the big deal?

God was the generic name for a deity. It painted a picture of God that was big and powerful. And in Genesis 1, God lives up to the name: no competition, no challenges, no problems, etc.

However, the LORD is covenant name of God. It paints a picture of a God who is near, who is relational, who intentionally moves towards His people, who loves His people, who deeply cares for His people. In Genesis 2, this is the side of God that we see.

We need both pictures of God. We need the God who victoriously wins battles and we need the LORD who tenderly holds us in His arms. We needs the God who sweeps in and kicks darkness and chaos in the butt and we need the God who likes to walk and talk with us. And amazingly, Moses tells us that both descriptions of God are true.

The same who is bigger than we could ever imagine is also closer than we could ever imagine.

Genesis M

2009-01-19T09:43:00.004-06:00

The single thing that has most kicked me in the pants during this study of Genesis is what happens in 2.1-3.

God rested.

If God rests on the seventh day, then who am I to not?

The crazy thing is that I honestly cannot remember the last time that I took a 24 hour period and didn't do any work (church stuff or seminary).

God has wired us to need rest. The weekly structure of our lives are designed to need rest every 7 days (Oh, and by the way, the seventh day is Saturday, not Sunday)

For me, I think it is a matter of pride. I feel that I am soooo important and the things that I do are sooooo important that I simply cannot afford to take any time off. And what's more, I don't trust God enough to believe that He can handle me taking a day off. It's as if I really believe that I am the one making things happen around here.

I am a cruel taskmaster. I work myself to the bone every single week. I never allow myself a day off. I think that if I let up on the pace, I will fall behind and fail.

But God, on the other hand, is a generous master. He knows that He has everything under control. Or, as it says in that ol' theological anthem, "He's got the whoooole world ... in His hands!" And, for that reason, he urges me to rest. But not just to rest, He wants me to rest in Him.

Moses tells us that God blesses the seventh day and made it holy. There is power in the seventh day. We tap into that restorative power when we submit to God, trust that He is in control, and ... well ... do nothing. Nothing but rest in Him.

Matt's Tat

2009-01-14T20:45:00.003-06:00

:::Life @ 5 months & 2 weeks:::

2009-01-14T20:12:00.002-06:00

Life tipped the scales today at 13lbs 12oz. Go girl!

Her new developments are:

- She is now holding onto her chew toys with all her might as she ferociously gnaws on them while she tries to cut her first tooth.

- She squeals (some would call it screaming) when she is playing. It's really hilarious to listen to. She has this baby language that can make her chuckle at herself. It's like she makes a horrible sound and then stops in her tracks... makes it again... and then shrieks with excitement. It would make any sad soul happy.

- The past 4 nights at bedtime she has been very fussy only being soothed by me. Maybe it's sparked by her irritation with her teething, but her fussy spells have ended with me tending to her in some way. I think we have entered into the mother/baby bond where she knows when I'm not there. It's precious to my soul. Life and I are really good friends. (Best friends forever :)) And thinking about that just makes me tear up...

Oh these never ending tears of a mother.

- She tries to sit up. I mean, she really wants to sit up! But when you give her the chance she kind of gives you this panicked look like, "what the heck are you doing? I'm totally out of control here. Can you help me out???"

- She is thinking about rolling over from back-to-front. But has absolutely no desire to roll over from front-to-back. You would think it would be the other way around... but it's not.

- She has discovered that she can scoot on her back. Not on her front yet.

- She has figured out that pushing a button on her door bouncer makes awesome music. So, she pushes it and kind of dances around to it. Screams at it. Squeals at it and flails her arms in excitement. It too could make any sad soul happy.

Life brings life to our home. We couldn't be more grateful!